ms Beautiful Thought: A blog

I proclaimed that I was going to Live and be Authentic . So here goes that. I never , I say never , imagined there would come a time I would lie in bed in so much pain that I couldn't sleep. I had to sit up, but yet and still all I can do now is breath heavy and cry as tears come down my face. I pray God takes some of this from me. I can never judge another because who am I to judge. I been through and am going through too much. Lord please bless every person waking during the night to darkness and complete silence except their heavy breathing and tears falling. Bless every person in pain of any kind. WoW!!! It just just hit me how could Jesus have felt on the cross!?? I got some relief by sitting up, but He couldn't move. He was in so much pain He cried out, "My God, My God why has thou forsaken me?" I feel That pain, but yet I know God has Not left and every situation could be much worse. For that I will still praise Him through it. I pray now that the devil wil...

In honor of September being Suicide Awareness Prevention month, I have reposted My Testimony which is a poetic take of my survival story. I will be hosting a blog talk which I will recite it, listen to other poetry & stories, and share information. Sunday - 9:30 pm. Click this link now to set up your reminder to tune in and/or call in :  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thepeacefulpoeticplace (The show will be recorded and archived so it will also be available to listen later.) MY TESTIMONY *Excerpts of my life from 1992 and 1995. I was asked to submit my testimony for a book about women who God has helped them overcome greatly. I simply told others to do it because I felt I had no powerful testimony...I now realize through this poem that my LIFE is a testimony.* Thank you for not killing me... When I myself wanted to die, anyway Well maybe not, pass from this life But become dead to the pain I felt When you both told me we, our relationship was dead, over See two...

I remember when I used to work with the homeless. I had a coworker with quite a few children and her husband was often out of the home. He was an addict that would relapse from time to time but she still held it together. The strength of a woman…this dedicated mother would often get calls and even have to leave work because her daughter would have seizures. I remember her saying that her daughter would sleep in class afterwards. I remember thinking maybe smells or chemicals in the school were triggering this young girl to have these episodes. I realize now I labeled them “episodes” as I would think to myself. I’m not sure why, that was just the language that formed…I call mine spells. That is simply because I knew something was coming over me at times. I just wasn't sure exactly what it was, but I soon realized it was more then staring spells, being tired, or simple headaches. It was different. I never imagined I would one day be familiar with what seemed so uncommon. It’s o...

I want to scream from the highest mountain with the loudest microphone that you are important and special, beautiful and loved !!!! Silence the noise !!! It does not MATTER what they told you as a child as a teen as an adult silence the noise, the negative voices in your head. Replace those ghosts and demons with the words of God. Each of YOU has a special place, importance, role, assignment on this earth. You will find it and you will find joy once you believe what God has said about you. The same way you believed that you would amount to nothing cause they told you that, believe that God made you SOMETHING because He said THAT. Wake Up and Realize that in reality there is no invisible fence holding you back and keeping you from happiness. It is YOU! The people in your past are not holding you back...your past that you keep in your present is holding you in the past and those people have passed and already moved on. So get passed IT! Take on a new attitude and move on... What if ...

Today while at the grocery store in my electric cart I "forgot" my pain from the car accident that had just happened yesterday. I met a woman. I told her that I loved her style....her shaved head with just a low natural cut, beautiful earrings, bright white tennis shoes, and sweat pants pushed up to her knees. She had a glow about her. I know that feeling to be caught with not your best on but yet you get compliments, it's a good feeling. For the next fifteen minutes...I forgot my pain and that someone was waiting on me to drive me around...she immediately shared with me a story of how she was a breast cancer survivor and that she had lost one breast and then just recently her second breast was cut off, so now both. She was glad to be alive.   https://soundcloud.com/beautifulthought/breast-cancer-tribute-i-shall I told her about an amazing woman I know named  Yahminah McIntosh  who is the most inspiring, strong, courageous woman I know. I shared with this stranger some ...

So I'm currently trying to determine if God wants me to Sit Down or Push Through. Sit/Push: My computer has died /But I then retrieved the data by converting the internal drive to a portable one. Push/Sit: Went to library to send blog I wrote to the organization I'm contracted with /But as of right now I am denied access to my files on other computers because my laptop had a password. Sit: Today I left therapy hurting because recently on top of my two bulging disks in my neck & carpal tunnel syndrome, last week I was additionally diagnosed with bursitis and tedonisis in my rotator cuff in one tendon and mildly in 2 others. Push: Next I started working on my wedding poem and started to leave to go to an open mic. Sit: The cafe venue for the open mic was closed due to rain issues. I went home to find I won 2 one-yr subscriptions to Cranbrook Music Guild, the first show is not til Oct. However, I also received a cd of the Oct performer---- over 60 min of Bach Goldberg i...

As I lie here half sitting, typing, and thinking, my mind reflects on what is important in life which is those who you care about and care about you. I have been forced recently, with my hands behind my back, to face and deal with concepts of death and dying. I met a middle-aged woman at work whose mother had passed away two weeks prior. She would cry off and on having buried her only a week ago; it was still a fresh wound. I had almost tried to turn her away because she was not in our zip code catchment area. However, by default I had to service her anyway. Now I was in a funky mood to start with but once she began to unravel and uncover her layers to me through her tears I shed those feelings. I began to no longer focus on myself, and my positive energies shifted toward encouraging her and lifting her spirits. I joked with the woman about her mother’s ways which had similarities to Madea. The woman told me it was the first time she had laughed in two weeks. Wh...