Thursday, November 14, 2013

Beautiful Thought: poet emcee for the 2013

Your Fashion emcee for the 2013
Check out this fashion expo event I will be a part of that is a diverse multi-cultural experience.

God's love & peace to you ~Beautiful Thought

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Lord Why: Have you forsaken us?

I proclaimed that I was going to Live and be Authentic. So here goes that. I never, I say never, imagined there would come a time I would lie in bed in so much pain that I couldn't sleep. I had to sit up, but yet and still all I can do now is breath heavy and cry as tears come down my face. I pray God takes some of this from me. I can never judge another because who am I to judge. I been through and am going through too much.

Lord please bless every person waking during the night to darkness and complete silence except their heavy breathing and tears falling. Bless every person in pain of any kind. WoW!!! It just just hit me how could Jesus have felt on the cross!?? I got some relief by sitting up, but He couldn't move. He was in so much pain He cried out, "My God, My God why has thou forsaken me?" I feel That pain, but yet I know God has Not left and every situation could be much worse. For that I will still praise Him through it.

I pray now that the devil will not trick anyone to believing God has turned His back; That no person will ever give up hope or turn to street drugs or abuse prescriptions. Let everyone enduring any pain find moments of relief, whether it's their fault or not let that be of no consequence. May remembering the love of God and loved ones help comfort us, even in the midnight hour. May remedies work...questions be arrive...the ability to endure be made manifest through never be wavering...pain increasingly decrease...tolerance be increased...may God heal us all swiftly through His everlasting mercy and unmerited favor. In faith say AMEN!

Protect your circle. Spend time around those who will encourage, uplift, and keep you in prayer. Let people love on you. If you need help ask for it. If you're discouraged say it. authentic so that you can be free mentally and emotionally. You Can be free. God's love & peace to you. ~ Beautiful Thought

Monday, October 28, 2013

Forgive Yourself

I'm thankful for this inspiration - it's one to grow on... 
Has anyone ever told you that lack of forgiveness can be crippling? But yet they failed to add that not forgiving yourself also can have the same effect. If others and even God can forgive you why can't you forgive yourself? To be able to forgive yourself you must understand the concept of agape love and how God is willing to forgive us. We must ask for it....but have you ever had a talk with you and asked yourself the same? "Self" please forgive me for not treating you right, letting others hurt you, damaging your reputation, not maintaining integrity, settling for less then you are worth, not meeting up to your level of capability, making the same mistakes, letting loved ones down, taking so long to break old habits...etc. Tell your self that you are sorry. Isn't it time to GROW and be whole again> set yourself free....only YOU hold the key. To thine own self be true...maintain your principles, but start WITHIN you.
God's love & peace to you ~Beautiful Thought

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Cultiv8Create: Daily bread: Mangled ministry

"Very Early in the morning while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and..."
To read the rest go the link of the original post. It is sooo deep and it's NOT what you think!
CLICK >> Cultiv8Create: daily bread:mangled ministry:

God's love & peace to you ~Beautiful Thought

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Peaceful Poetic Place Online Radio | BlogTalkRadio

The Peaceful Poetic Place Online Radio | BlogTalkRadio
Listen in this Sunday 9/15 @ 9:30 pm
Topic of the hour is the topic of the month: Suicide Prevention.
The recorded call will be available at that link after it is over.

God's love & peace to you ~Beautiful Thought

Suicide Awareness: Listen

In honor of September being Suicide Awareness Prevention month, I have reposted My Testimony which is a poetic take of my survival story. I will be hosting a blog talk which I will recite it, listen to other poetry & stories, and share information. Sunday - 9:30 pm. Click this link now to set up your reminder to tune in and/or call in :
(The show will be recorded and archived so it will also be available to listen later.)

*Excerpts of my life from 1992 and 1995. I was asked to submit my testimony for a book about women who God has helped them overcome greatly. I simply told others to do it because I felt I had no powerful testimony...I now realize through this poem that my LIFE is a testimony.*

Thank you for not killing me...
When I myself wanted to die, anyway
Well maybe not, pass from this life
But become dead to the pain I felt
When you both told me we, our relationship was dead, over
See two times I allowed it to kill me, my spirit
I gave each of you men enough power to end my own, life
I know you never much wanted or expected
Me to take it as I did
But when your world ends
It takes your life with it
You each said goodbye as you thought of me
Cheating with that other guy
Was I wrong, that's not even the issue
I didn't realize the impact of what I did, or didn't do
Didn't think or know I needed so much, tissue
I reached out for something to comfort me
because of your guys rejection of me
you weren't there
Now who would comfort me
No one, not even me
See I couldn't see…

The first time, I blindly walked around
As in a drunken stupor down the streets of Illinois below "the hill"
Down a street I was unfamiliar with
Not wanting to run into you, your sister, or mine
Wanting, wanting, but not wanting, anyone to know
Many still don't, know
That I had taken several drinks of my nieces medicine, none of which was required
But needed at the time
I didn't want to feel the pain
Wanted time to stand still
Although I would have preferred to go back, in time
In time I would have thrown that erotic letter away
Given to me by a co-worker that I just threw in my purse
You found it
Accused me
and now pain found me
If only that medicine I took could have been for pain, not allergies
Maybe I wouldn't feel what I was feeling
Tears wouldn't stop
my clothes had they been rags
I would have blended into the streets of the ghetto
Strangers wouldn't have stared at me as if something was wrong with me
Walking down the streets crying, doped up, dead, inside
I wanted to die ust for a while
I was mad, that the medicine wasn't strong enough
That there was nothing else I could take
That there was no alcohol to wash it down
So instead with all these feeling in my head
I walked back to the house
Now alseep, I slept, the medicine off
There lies the end of that relationship, end of story

But its not the end of the story
About three years later now in Michigan, history, her-story, repeats itself
Yes this time I was wrong I cheated
Don't ask me how I could
Don't judge me, look at where you're standing, as you look at me
Just because I was sorry for doing something, so sorry
Doesn't mean it hurt any less
Doesn't me I didn't want to be forgiven and try to do my best
He was the best, thing that happened to me
So on crutches, in the midst of college finals, a broken ankle, and a broken heart
I had enough of the pain
Again the tears wouldn't stop
And I wanted to die inside
maybe even have my heart stop long enough for it to repair itself
Just long enough for all the pain to go, away
the pain that was drowning me, paralyzing, killing me
I could think of nothing else
I was consumed
Just as the effects of the hydrocodone and motrin overtook my natural senses
So too was the drug induced effects of being without your love
I felt as if I was dying, I had enough
Pills to maybe do the job this time
Because ironically,
I refused take the hydrocodone after my ankle surgery
I didn't like the way it made me feel
And now I was beginning to feel, nothing
You would think it was bittersweet relief
I again called out for someone to comfort me
I hopped to the payphone and called my mother in Illinois
There was no comfort she could give me
Through wires and plastic
I'm sure instantly she knew something was wrong
I can't recall all the exact details but
I think she made me give her the number of my girl friend
At some point they took me to the hospital
You know, where you go for healing
I had to drink some nasty charcoal, I was gonna be fine
But I also had to spend the night for observation
Of my mental, not physical
I didn't want to talk to some stranger
How could she help me
After all, we still wouldn't be together
I got over it though, I soon realized this simple truth
no life is worth losing your life
Jesus laid down His life
He died for you and me

I know now I wasn't ready to die for we
That's the way God designed it to be
Thank you Lord for the gift you gave me
And for not taking it back,
When I wanted to return it
I no longer want to die, not physically
Even when no person is there to comfort me
I have learned that your hand was always there reaching out to hold mine
Thank you Lord for not killing me
But being there for me
You have always been there to comfort me
I was just looking 
the other way.
(c) 2010 All Rights Reserved. Natasha “Beautiful Thought” Ane'e

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Stinking Thinking: Survival of The Fittest

Those of you whom have been hurt a lot or deeply and have not yet fully healed be careful....If you develop a mechanism of defense from being hurt called survival your actions can be destructive and detrimental to your relationships. Once you become so consumed with survival it changes the way you love and give. It turns your mindset into one of what can I get from others...and what do I need to becomes a self-centered type of mindset. You may even be a caring person and loving person the best you know how. It develops an alter ego or an unbalanced mind. 

You want to be free and give and love freely BUT you are so used to being hurt and can't let go of thoughts of being hurt that you in turn sabotage relationships without even knowing. You can never give 100% because unconsciously your self-preservation mode does not allow you must first look out for yourself. So you might even give tangibly but emotionally and other ways you do not give fully. You are deceiving yourself and others. Others see your core and love you for it....but yet they are at times confused because you at times contradict yourself through subtle actions and others just can't figure it out. It's almost like dealing with not two different people because it's not that extreme but yet maybe like dealing with twins who are not exactly the same. Confusing huh??? Yep even for yourself.

Well I encourage you if you have ever had to be in survival mode or if you have ever been hurt bad before check yourself....take inventory of where your mind, heart, and spirit is currently. Unless you surrender to it and let it go you will never be healed and you will always be fragmented into two parts. Stop reliving the past through your own choice. 

Trust God! Forgive and LET wise but trust your heart to love again and to FULLY love freely without regrets. I pray those who need to read this do. It is unedited straight from my heart.

God's Peace & Love to you. ~Beautiful Thought

Monday, August 26, 2013

I Am Encouraged

It's the end of August and I am so encouraged!!!! I have a lot to say so read....or don't.... This weekend despite difficulties and having to press IT was so encouraging!!! I ministered at Soundsof Imani's Anointed Gospel Coffee House with Paul Dean and friends. He and Clarissa stuck by me to help me press and it feels like commitment and dedication and feels I AM Blessed!

Sunday I had an awesome word as always from my pastor Mark Thompson and as a bonus saw a friend in Christ and in spirit JoVonna who is always full of positive energy. That evening I did a short impromptu piece at Darnell Kendricks' Smooth Soul Cafe Maccabees about the blessings & love of music & friends perfect for such a time as the soulful one he Always creates. Stay tuned for info about the next one Sept. 28 I plan to be on the mic even more. ;-) His event lifted my spirit through the love that permeates wherever HE IS and the spirits he attracts as a result.

Plus I caught up with my best friend Neva which is a blessing in itself. To top it off I had an agent from Affiliate Modeling agency (who happened to be in a mtg at the restaurant about a fashion magazine he is launching) tell me excitedly that he wants to work with me as a model.

Finally, this morning I watched The Peaceful Poetic Place 2nd Anniversary on dvd...the room was packed & both artists and the audience was on fire!!! I heard the words both Theo & Yahminah said that night...I heard very clearly today the words that were meant for me. One of the things Theo said was that "we" The P3 would not be there long & 2 months later here we are in search of a new venue. THAT means it is time to MOVE and GROW. It is time for me to move & grow. I'm open to all GOD has for me I will not let my circumstances that are merely temporarily (I claim) stand in my way.

God's love & peace to you ~Beautiful Thought

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Take The Limits Off

I remember when I used to work with the homeless. I had a coworker with quite a few children and her husband was often out of the home. He was an addict that would relapse from time to time but she still held it together. The strength of a woman…this dedicated mother would often get calls and even have to leave work because her daughter would have seizures. I remember her saying that her daughter would sleep in class afterwards. I remember thinking maybe smells or chemicals in the school were triggering this young girl to have these episodes. I realize now I labeled them “episodes” as I would think to myself. I’m not sure why, that was just the language that formed…I call mine spells. That is simply because I knew something was coming over me at times. I just wasn't sure exactly what it was, but I soon realized it was more then staring spells, being tired, or simple headaches. It was different.

I never imagined I would one day be familiar with what seemed so uncommon. It’s only been 2 weeks since the terms were injected into my life, through the mail as a denied medical bill, figure that. In all actuality, I have been experiencing these experiences for over half a year now. Since they are merely just words on paper, that same night I learned of the actual diagnosis, I quickly shook my fear of the 29 black letters on white that really didn't seem to fit into my life. Generalized, Convulsive, Epilepsy unknown to me those labels had been applied 41/2 months my knowledge.

I realize that I am different…not sure I will ever be the same, though even before I was labeled different. I accepted the idea of that title like a badge of honor. Now, I am trying to be ok with this different different. My skin is the same. My thoughts and desires are the same. My brain has just begun to get electrical signals crossed at times. Yet I look the same. You can not see the health of my brain…shoot I can’t either. I just experience the overload. You may be able to look into my eyes and see my desire to travel the world, lead souls to Christ, inspire nations, uplift our men, and empower our women through words. You can see dreams and visions manifested to real life but you can not see my silent limitations. You often can not see the barriers others face either so remove the assumptions. Everyone is dealing with something even if, it is only in their mind.

I say limitations loosely, because I claim that no title “on my brain” will stop me from fulfilling God’s will of me or for me. I claim in His name that all He has planned will happen fully. I will just go at a slower pace. I claim that I am free. Even in my home with no one to drive me somewhere I am free. I can think and I can breathe. I am free. I am free to whisper poetry to the wind. I don’t need bright lights or man-made stages I have the world’s stage under me. I am free. I can rest and slow down whenever I need to. I realize now that no one told me life was meant to be a race always running from place to place. I know who my son is. We are not strangers passing each other in hallways during the night. We are not travelers eating in separate rooms at the same time. We are not mother and son missing each other while together. I am free from time now. It no longer owns me. I control it and I wait. I wait for God to direct me and during silence I hear from Him clearly.

God’s plans are divine and every fault, every mistake, every wrong step can and will be used for you…to bring you into submission to His plans and acknowledge HE IS GOD. To breathe that truth daily gives me the courage to relax (not try to fight my own battles) and focus on wellness. The world needs each piece of me, yet I am not to be reduced to my parts. I am whole, the sum of these parts. Even if it comes in segments or sections I declare that I am still whole. I must get that before I can give “it” to you.

Let’s ALL slow down. Let’s remember the world will always be spinning. If we want to appreciate the beauty we have to be still to see it. Let’s not judge others based on what you think you see. Let’s not put people in a box and call them ours. We are not toys on a shelf with directions. We each bring something unique. Let’s liberate the nations and allow them to operate within their limitations. Let’s free them to be who they are, not the figment of your perception. You do not know what internal limitations people are dealing with. You do not fully know the journey they have been on, nor do you know where they are going. Let’s give them freedom to move about as they wish at the pace they believe necessary. We will instead encourage, inspire, uplift, empower everyone to move forward No Matter What is going on internally in their mind or body. Yet know that all you can do is that. You can not force others to go the route you paved or lead…that in itself is limiting. Until you can get inside someone’s head you will never understand many of the choices that others make…and that…is alright. You are ok and they are ok and that is ok. Just continue to believe God for His promises in not just your life, but others as well. Relax and Release. Pray for me as I pray for you too…Be Free.

God’s LOVE & PEACE to you. 8.18.13 ~Beautiful Thought 

Monday, August 5, 2013

I Too Have Been A Dead Beat..You?

Today was "a day"... I can't describe it any other way... until I just describe it. Some things may seem random but believe me they are interconnected. Never be so set in your plans, that YOU made for the day that you forget to let God have His way each of those days. Follow me...
I went to the WOW Jam in Detroit and ran into my god-daughter and her mother and friends. I was so pleased to see them, considering since my son was born I have not spent much time with my god-daughter, though I would take her in a heartbeat if need be. I also have not talked to her mother, who is like my little sister, since her younger sister passed away in March. That event ws something that brought us all closer together especialy during that period of time. I was able to be there for them and their family during a very hard time. (Spoken word piece dedicated to fallen soldier Britney Meux )
However, this blog is not about how I have been is about how I Have Not been.
So back to the WOW Jam... It was a phenomenal experience to see a mass group of people assembled to receive free food, hair cuts, groceries, bikes, toys, and other prizes. This is not because they were just simply there but because they were so unexpected and unaware. They were unaware that this day they would be baptized and move towards living their life for Christ. People were moved to dedicate their babies lives to the Lord and have them prayed for. My little sis had her unborn baby prayed for and my god-daughter's friend and sister were both baptized today. Swimming pools were provided at the park to be sure, that if tomorrow did not come, they did everything they could to allow people to "come as they are" and be saved. People are hurting and looking for a way to comfort their pain.

This group from California came all the way to Detroit to bless this city, and though they had support of a Detroit base, it still had me thinking... we have to do better to reach out to those in our own city, our own family, and those that we often ignore in order to make more time to reach outside our circle. This now brings me to one of my main points. I planned to be at WOW Jam at the start and then leave early enough to spend long overdue time with one of my best friends. It did not happen that way. At 4:50am I received a call from my brother saying his wife was going into labor and he needed me to meet him at the hospital to care for my 1 yr old nephew. My son and I came and after some time went: false alarm. I had just gotten to sleep about 4 am so back at home I finally was able to get back to sleep. See how things don't go as planned. We have to be ready for anything and move when God says move.

I got to the WOW Jam late but long story short...while there I was presented a chance to minister to my "little sis" about our need as parents to react in love when we discipline our kids. I could have left knowing my friend was waiting for me but I felt in my spirit I needed to stay and intercede and minister in love. The only problem was I felt torn that my friend would be upset because it was now late and we rarely talk and spend time even less then that. We had arranged this day as a time to catch up.

But God....I praise Him for true friends that have overlooked my faults and accepted me as "that's who I am". That does not mean they don't allow me room to grow but they don't love me less if I don't. I have never been one to keep in touch with friends well and since becoming very active in producing my poetry show I have been worse. This now brings me to clairfy my main point. If I had been keeping in touch regularly I would have felt confident to call my friend and tell her what was going on instead of fearful she was going to be upset I still was not there yet.

It has been hard to summarize my revelations today but I can honestly say, though I truly Have Been very busy in my life I will Always be busy. The main point involves the fact that over some years I have, plain and simple, neglected some of my closest friends. I have been a dead beat friend and it is no different then a dead beat dad, neglecting important relationships.

I apologize for not strategizing my time or disciplining myself enough in the past in order to feed my friendships. I encourage everyone to feed their friendships so they can grow. They are the ones that will be there when the ministries, jobs, fake people, and children either end or leave. I am guilty of being a dead beat friend. I promise to do better. I pray you do too. 7.21.13
God's love & peace to you. ~Beautiful Thought

Two Keys To Happiness: Set yourself free

I want to scream from the highest mountain with the loudest microphone that you are important and special, beautiful and loved!!!! Silence the noise!!! It does not MATTER what they told you as a child as a teen as an adult silence the noise, the negative voices in your head. Replace those ghosts and demons with the words of God. Each of YOU has a special place, importance, role, assignment on this earth. You will find it and you will find joy once you believe what God has said about you. The same way you believed that you would amount to nothing cause they told you that, believe that God made you SOMETHING because He said THAT. Wake Up and Realize that in reality there is no invisible fence holding you back and keeping you from happiness. It is YOU! The people in your past are not holding you back...your past that you keep in your present is holding you in the past and those people have passed and already moved on. So get passed IT! Take on a new attitude and move on...

What if you were to wake up and realize that both your happiness and depression were based on basically two overall very simple things: the way you think and whether you follow God's will. There you have it > keys to happiness for FREE. Follow God and have faith and stop defeating yourself before you try because of your powerless attitude. Each person has POWER within them. How do I know that?? It's because God gave us free will. He gave us the ability to choose or not choose to believe the negative things people say...the ability to speak life into people and ourselves. So stop doubting the greatest in you. Tell yourself who you want to be as if you ALREADY are! God never gave up on you even when you did and do.

I need every person who has ever felt unloved, who feels unloved, who has been mistreated, abused, given up on, betrayed, hurtfully accused or rejected to STOP right now and repeat after me. "My past experiences do not define WHO I am...only who I have been with. My past experiences don't define WHERE I am going....only where I have been. My past experiences simply make me stronger and it's not the pain but the WISDOM that I will keep. I choose to be free." Look in the mirror and say this this several times every day until you believe and internalize it as truth. Speak LIFE into you; replace noise with peace. God's love & peace to you ~Beautiful Thought

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Post Mother's Day Peace

The day after lots of love is shown....and children grieved over dead relationships and deceased mothers; when many men found it most convenient to ask you out "in celebration of the day"; when your offspring where still disrespectful and often take for granted your sacrifices; when the often absent male parent barely said Hi let alone praised you for your hard work and dedication....on the day after Mother's Day know your mother loved how she knew and could, your children call you blessed and know you do your best, men finally got brave enough to show you their admiration, and many fathers know they messed up so being quiet goes best with pride. You are a queen a warrior a nurturer a lady with the job of carrying the world in her belly and on her the same time, no time for hearts on a sleeve, you have tears to wipe and mouths to feed, more babies to birth and generations to lead. You have little time for crying because there is homework to read. You are pearls, are gold, are ruby, are a master, are beauty, personified. Just as "mother earth" must be respected to give forth life you too are necessary for life. God made you and called it "good". The love in you is seeds that make words of encouragement raise up nations. We lyrically and metaphorically praise you, not for perfection, but for our examples of strength and perseverance. Thank you for not giving up on the living, and reasoning with those who we would not live right, for you are the reason....We Live. 5.13.13 
God's love & peace to you ~Beautiful Thought

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Hope Is All...and Everything

Below is something I wrote less then two weeks ago....encouraging me by encouraging others. I decided not to post it on FB. Instead, simply saved it and later read it again realizing I had encouraged me by my own words. Who would have known that I would "live this" prophecy sooner then I thought... hitting me harder because I was unprepared to expect it so soon. Now these words I must eat, digest, and BELIEVE like never before (though yet again) that God has me in the palm of His hangds. I must believe because of's all I (we) have.
"I sit here feeling less capable then I have ever felt, because of certain handicaps I'm dealing with currently. I know God is moving things to line up for my favor but then it really really hit me....I have been requested to write & perform for a Midwest gospel hiphop event for hundreds of people and to do a twice monthly event locally for a National food chain, if the Lord's will it will go forth as planned. God said So what State Farm is giving you a hard time and likely about to cut off your income (little did I know they already had). So what you will be unable to do your same skills you were doing before you were injured and consequently laid off. So What!!! I own everything in this world and nothing can be done unless I allow it. They will not harm you, they will not prosper over you....if it seems like they are it's because I have something greater for you anyway. YOU WILL conquer this, though you may still have to deal with some pain & inconveniences, you will Still Move forward. I do not call you my child, my heir, and my chosen one for nothing. You are royalty, appointed, anointed and no devil in hell will prosper. Be Obedient I got you. These are the words now being revealed to me through God's Holy Spirit because I changed tbe negative channel...I welcome His marvelous light. Change The Channel. May this encourage you whatever season you are in."
I so needed to hear these words the Holy Spirit dropped in my spirit in advance...preparing me...for such a time as this. Praise Him in and out of season, winter doesn't last forever.
God's peace & love to you. ~ Beautiful Thought

Thursday, February 14, 2013

My Funny Valentine

Valentine's dinner menu was planned some time ago...lobster, shrimp, broccoli, garlic toast and brownies & ice cream to eat at our new table. I wanted to do something special for him. God planned ahead knowing this would be also a time for healing and renewal.

So....we set up dinner and got dressed for our date. He could not understand why we were dressing up but took great pride in picking out his own outfit. Collectively we looked for a lighter, deciding to add candles...when he got full he played his violin for me in his suit while I finished his plate.
Afterwards, he decided he would take my hand so we could swing arms & sing Happy Valentines Day to us (who does that lol), that turned into two dances. We danced last to India Arie "Ready for Love". He enjoying the time cracking up at our twists, turns, & bends unaware God was preparing him...for life for love for wife. We ate desert in front of the fireplace, and as our love was rekindled we watched the movie of his choice. The night ended with a prayer yet my prayers were already being answered.
I am thanking God even know for just simply time...our love language. Court your children and watch unconditional love blossom. God is preparing us even in that moment to love our spouse and attend to their needs. God's love & peace to you. ~Beautiful Thought